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When we sexualize the young…

When we sexualize the young...

Parents: Your messages to your children about clothes, sexiness, etc, needs to be consistent across their childhoods. There’s not one (more permissive) message that’s right for babies and another (less permissive) message that’s right for preteens and teenagers. I took this picture at the local Walgreens this morning. I’m going to give all of you…

The dreaded sleepover question

The dreaded sleepover question

In a world with flexible gender and sexual identities, what’s a parent to do? I’ve been asked about sleepovers through two channels in the last few days, so it seemed the right time to finally write a post about it. This question comes up all the time – first in the wake of the sudden…

The tangled nature of sexy and violent: Welcome to the dirty game, Halloween

The tangled nature of sexy and violent: Welcome to the dirty game, Halloween

Sexy Halloween costumes are evident everywhere we go, all October long. I have been inundated with commentary on these kinds of costumes, and given it myself, for years. I’m emotionally exhausted by it, so I don’t write about it anymore. But this year, my deepest outrage, sorrow, and grief over the way we are expressing…

Why comprehensive sex ed? Here’s why.

Comprehensive sexuality education is not limited to reproductive or risk-management approaches. Nor is it a crazy free-for-all of sexual information. It is a considered, developmentally appropriate approach to adult-moderated peer conversations about issues of sex and sexuality. It is life changing in ways that are often unexpected and beautiful. I’ve recently had a few parents…

FYI (if you’re a parent to a teenager)

FYI (if you're a parent to a teenager)

Dear Parents, I have some information that might interest you. Your teenage sons have raging hormones – so do your teenage daughters. So, for that matter, do your trans* and queer teenagers. So let’s start this letter by leaving off the gender-specific nature of some of these conversations, shall we? Adolescence is tricky enough without…

A better message to your teenager

There is a meme running around Facebook and the Internet generally this week that is titled something along the lines of “What your teenager needs to hear” or “Message to my teenager” or something similar. The author is listed as “unknown.” I hate this list. So I’m going to break it down, point out what’s…

A class for boys! (And other single-gender class thoughts)

A class for boys! (And other single-gender class thoughts)

I will be offering a class for middle school boys this summer. This is a fully comprehensive class – we will cover everything from reproduction and contraception to communication and decision making to abstinence and consent and more. I’m having a meeting for parents who are interested in their sons joining – or anyone interested…

Sexual harassment, consent, and hugging grandma

Sexual harassment, consent, and hugging grandma

Yesterday in my middle school class we talked about sexual harassment. The students had a general notion of these as bad things, but little in the way of details. The problem is generally that people misconstrue sexual harassment with sexual assault. They don’t realize that harassment can be verbal, can be directed at someone else…

How to talk via cardboard

How to talk via cardboard

Parent/teen relationships are often strained – often because parents and teenagers are just unsure how to say what they need from each other. Sometimes they don’t even know themselves. So why not say it with cardboard?

Opportunities abound!

Opportunities abound!

The worst way that parents fail in talking with their kids about sex is by not talking about it at all. So jump to it, get on it, and start that conversation! Opportunities surround us. The Oscars, a few weeks ago, offered many golden opportunities, it appeared to be the red carpet of conversation starters,…

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